This was a my first picture on instagram from January 2020, no other reason I am using it.

Small Steps into a New Year

This is my first ever article, so I hope it’s useful to someone out there. It’s been useful to me writing all this down, so I hope by reading it, you will get something too.

Before you read this, I’d like to start by wishing you a very happy new year and I hope you are blessed with all the good things in life that you deserve.

It’s the new year and I’d hazard a guess that you’re probably thinking about your future and if you’re reading this article then you’re more than likely looking for some kind of optimism in the form of steps you can take to bring about changes in the year ahead.

Maybe you just ran a Google search on goal settings or how to achieve XYZ in 2021? Or maybe you just googled “New Years Resolutions”. Well, you’re not alone because I am one of those people who have hopes, dreams, needs and wants that I want to fulfill in the year ahead.

Over the past couple of days I’ve been hanging around the house wondering about the future, thinking about what lies ahead and trying to conjure up and dig into my thoughts around what I really, really want for my future.

I started with a list here and wrote out all of the things that I want, most of those things were what I wanted last year and am still working towards like a house, a boyfriend/husband, more money in my job and a nicer car just to mention a few.

Okay, so the list is done, I know what I want now! I’m visualizing myself in these future situations and feeling good about seeing myself in them. There seems like there’s something missing though and I don’t know what that is at this point in time but something really feels off and so I try to just allow myself to figure out what that is and what is bugging me.

Over the next few days I have absolutely nothing to do because we’re in the middle of a pandemic here and everything is closed and I’m also off work at this moment in time.

I decide to pass the time by doing some cleaning, laundry and then I’ll reorganize all of the wardrobes/storage in my bedroom. I ended up spending a good full day doing this and I ironed all of my t-shirts and jeans which I have not done in a life time because I’ve been working from home.

Over the course of the day as I ironed and put each t-shirt on to a hanger, I felt a new sense of appreciation for all of these old t-shirts and jeans and when they were ironed and hung up properly and sorted in the wardrobes nicely, they looked fantastic. My wardrobe was full with no more room! I could not possibly get any more garments in there and I was excited to wear these old t-shirts again.

The day was done, the house was gleaming, it smelled good, everything was in the rightful place and I had candles lit to add to the ambience. I mentally made a note to have a nice cup of herbal tea as a reward and to just enjoy the comfort of the home I had just tidied up. Simple!

This sounds all so very boring I’m sure, but at this point in time it felt like I had everything in the world that I needed right now sitting there drinking my tea. I felt a sense of being full, I felt abundant and the thought of buying any item of clothing for the next good while made me feel slightly ill. I needed nothing in that moment in time.

So what was my learning in all of this over those couple of days doing nothing around the house?

Well I felt a sense of appreciation and gratitude for what I had, I felt healthy, happy and felt like I was wealthy in many ways. I started to think that maybe before I started this whole “new year, new me” goals and planning stuff, that I should have reflected more and sorted though all of my things, looked back over the year and realize that I had already achieved so much already and that I was a much happier and fulfilled person than I was a year ago.

I genuinely feel like the luckiest and most grateful person today after just taking a day or two out from unhealthy distractions and tidying my home. I would recommend you do the same and here is a few suggestions:

1. Take time out to do absolutely nothing so that you can feel present and alone without influences. Turn off the news, turn off social media and notifications and be aware of your addictive behaviour when it comes to using your phone as a crutch to fill the space. If you do this, you will allow your subconscious to catch up and eventually things will come to the surface for you.
2. Set goals for the future. Whether they are big or small or short term or long term. Even if you’re not the type of person that meticulously plans things out, just go ahead and write out everything that you want to achieve or desire. By writing all of those things out using ink and paper, you’re already taking them from your thoughts (non physical) to paper (physical) so you have already brought them into the real world just by writing them down on paper.
3. Try not to be too skeptical or cynical. You might say “what a load of shit this never works” or you could instead say “this is a bit of fun, I have nothing to lose”. Many people believe in god, religion and other spiritual practices and it brings them hope and success in different ways. My message to you is that if you can do something positive for yourself or someone else in whatever way that works, what is the harm in that? Think of this as a prayer to yourself. Go with the flow and enjoy it. Look for the positives and try to trust that people’s intentions are good, just like your intentions are good. Believe that good things will happen, maybe not immediately but eventually.
4. Appreciate everything you‘ve already achieved, the things you do have today and the people you are surrounded by. Take my wardrobe example, the truth is that only a few days before I reorganized my wardrobe I had been saying to my cousin “I have absolutely nothing to wear” and now I realize that it was my state of mind and lack of appreciation for what I already have in abundance. Count your blessings every day and write down 10 things you are grateful for and you’ll find that you feel like you have enough and more, this will also really help you to hone in one what you REALLY need vs stuff you think you want.
5. Clean your house! And if it is already clean, go through drawers and cupboards and reorganize them, or maybe take out photo albums and reorganize them. There is something magical that happens when you physically recognize and hold what you own and appreciate it, these things will bring up old memories or will remind you that you worked hard for those things and that you have them in abundance. All I’m saying is that new stuff is not always the path to feeling fulfilled and happy, so just take time to go back over things that you worked hard to get and appreciate, love and be grateful for them.
6. Change your thoughts by changing the information and data you allow into your brain. Over the past year it has been easy to absorb news about the pandemic, economic woes, racial tensions, presidential elections. All seemed to be toxic with the world and you just couldn’t get away from it. Eventually you’ll realize that all this information does to you is put you in a bad frame of mind. Take 2021 as an opportunity to retrain your mind by finding new forms of media that are fun, light hearted, positive and about being the best version of yourself.
7. Try to view past challenges and setbacks as opportunities and practice that mentality by looking back at setbacks from the past. When you do look back at what those setbacks were and that happened back then in the past, find the value in them now, today! For example “Thank god I lost my job then, because if I was still there today then none of this would have happened today and I would not have met this person and I would not have done this thing/job/course”. Start to recognize that sometimes when bad things happen within a small period of time in the past, they create a vast ocean of new opportunity that expands right out into the future and they continue to expand from that moment of history.
8. Feel ok about not knowing what you want to do in your life but just do something, doing nothing gets you nothing. Every experience you have has a knock on effect and reaction. So if you end up doing a job out of desperation and not by having any other choice, just know that it’s not forever and that by doing it you’re already creating new future versions of yourself and you’re setting off small miniature reactions from all of your actions today, so be your best self in those moments and put out the good vibes because they will come back to you in the future when you most need them.
9. Create healthy boundaries with family and friends. Quite simply if you feel like someone does not add value to your life, then they can be placed on the outer circle of people. Surround yourself with people who are upbeat, who want to achieve stuff, who celebrate your successes and who push you out of your comfort zone and support you. Remove toxic people from your life, if you are after meeting someone for coffee and leave feeling down or anxious and this happens often, ask yourself why that is and are they really serving you well. Your thoughts and feelings create your reality and so if an hour coffee with someone makes you feel awful for the rest of they day and this happens most days, then that is going to make your reality awful too and that is not what you want for the year ahead.
10. Get more sleep, exercise more, eat well, drink more water. You’ll figure out your own away to do these things because you are smart! But just keep them top of mind. Get out in nature, smell the fresh cut grass, get your trainers dirty on a a hill walk! Just get outside.

Last few words: Happiness is not an end goal that you reach and somehow feel elated to have reached, there will be ups and downs and crossroads along the way and that is just life! Try to enjoy the process and be thankful that somehow you were born into this world with the ability to have choices (one in four trillion chance). Trust your instincts, be aware of your thoughts, take action and adapt when you feel that something is not right for you. Don’t rely too heavily on advice from others because their experience is as intricate and as confusing as your own experience of life and it won’t serve you well in every situation, sometimes you just need to take the plunge and put in the good fight. You’re not making mistakes, you’re simply learning! Keep on learning.

I hope this was good enough to read, I wish you a happy, healthy and full life for 2021 and beyond.